Anal Retentive Randomness

Don’t you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are. ~Lady Gaga

Perfect Path

Winter Web

Wallpaper Water

Frozen Stems

Divine Drips

Bokeh Berries

Perfect Position

Over the weekend I put together 5 different collections of photos to share with you, all with beautiful themes or color stories, but I finally settled on this random collection in a small attempt to let it be… let it be.

I’ve think I’ve spent over 20 years trying to learn how to NOT try too hard. Some of the  books I’ve read, workshops, therapists, and deep love poured into me from incredible family and friends rubs off and I can let down, let go, do less than I think I’m capable of, attempt to relax and just play,,, but for the most part it doesn’t last I soon find my way back to trying too hard… paying attention to every damn detail…Trying to get it right even when I know there is no Right.

The perfectionist side of me may always aches to create some kind of beautiful order from the chaos that life is?? It’s just part of my personality, I try too hard and that’s okay.

What part of your personality have you learned to embrace rather than TRY to fix?

Too Heavy

In every crisis there is a message. Crises are nature’s way of forcing change breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place. ~ Susan Taylor

The snow was so heavy

we marched on

the tulip tree was full of snowy cup cakes

tiny branches sparkled in the sun

bigger branches leaned and arched to the ground.

Our first storm of the season brought about 8″ of heavy wet snow that sent many trees to the ground ( see why here ). It’s been a week and some are still bent and slowly trying to upright themselves… unfortunately many could not take the weight and broke.

The storm destruction reminds me of how topsy-turvy the world feels, lately so many things are out of whack and falling apart.

I think it’s fascinating that technology / transparency is bringing about more awareness, but there are times I’m not sure what to do with all the information. It seems that each time I turn on the computer or television, I’m confronted with a new story of tyranny being uprooted, greed and lies are being exposed. ‘Old’ ways seem to be collapsing, things once hidden are being revealed. It’s a mess and all this upheaval is shocking and hard to accept or fathom sometimes.

This topic feels too heavy to write intelligently about yet here I am attempting to say something? I’m so curious about all the energy that is swirling around, changing, crashing… perhaps creating a path for new ways?

Some how I feel lucky to be living at such an exciting time full of strange opportunities, new ways of thinking, new ways of connecting and collaborating. I feel like I’m having my own personal revolution as I let old ways breakdown and fall away.

Any thoughts?

P.S. People like Pranav Mistry are the ones who give me so much faith that wonderful new ways will prevail.

Letting Go

Let everything be allowed to do what it naturally does, so that its nature will be satisfied. – Chuang Tzu

I am in a natural cycle of shedding what no longer serves… releasing, deleting, burning. I am re-creating, re-imagining, and re-examining.

I have a tendency to let go prior to January 1st, in hopes of having a bit of a clean slate for 2012.

Do you do this before the New Year begins?

Prickly

I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild; when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and moody. And in all its moods, I see myself. ~ Martin Buxbaum

Today I’m prickly…

I’ve made peace with being such a mercurial being… one moment I’m filled with delight, wide open joy is surging through me, my energy rises and I’m ready to take on 10 new things and often I do….who knows when, but suddenly I find myself exhausted, frustrated, cranky and don’t want to be bothered by anybody and just about anything bugs me.

I do have weeks and sometimes even a whole month when things can even out a bit, but mostly I surge up and down and I’m pretty okay with the rollercoaster ride.

I am moody, I am temperamental. I am a yo-yo. I seem to be so easily affected by the energy that surrounds me. The weather, the cashier, the clothes I wear all have a profound affect. I actually like to feel everything but sometimes I’m not so good at letting the moods just wash through me, sometimes I pitch a fit.

So how was your day, any fits!?

Gratitude

Open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you, then everyone you meet on this day will be blessed by you, just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch, just by your presence. ~ Brother David Steindl’s

The golden hour yesterday was divine. I took 774 photos on my 2 hour stroll at sunset. It’s days like these that make me feel so lucky to be alive, experiencing nature in all her glory, who else could make dead drying decomposing weeds & grass look so magical.

My friend Barb sent me this 10 minute film on gratitude by Louie Schwartzburg today. I am so grateful that my blog has kept me in touch with her and so many of you who I would have lost touch with if I did not blog. And so many of you who I would not have met if I did not blog. And for those who I get to be present with in my life ~ I am so deeply blessed.

If you have 10 minutes this video is a lovely reminder of how lucky we are to see and experience such beauty. (The quote above is from the film).

Happy Thanksgiving

Mother Nature is My Muse

The most potent muse of all is our own inner child. ~ Stephen Nachmanovitch

Do you remember weaving string between your fingers?

or building a teepee?

How far can you reach?

Pretty far!

Do you remember drawing triangles?

and then geometry got a bit more complicated?

Can you catch a raindrop?

or a rainbow?

Linked with POTW, thanks Hilary

Beauty in the Bleak

In every man’s heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. ~Christopher Morley

Bittersweet

Life at best is bittersweet. ~Jack Kirby

I found a new hike yesterday. It is so fun to stumble upon a new place to explore. Besides finding the trails I found some new subjects to photograph. These bittersweet berries put on such a display of color, first they are green, then yellow which ripens to orange. And, for the grand finale they open up and reveal a beautiful red belly.

As I wandered past the tangled vines of bittersweet, from a distance I spotted this huge wasps nest, it’s bigger than a basketball. I’ve never seen one so big. I’m most impressed by the curl and swirl of the papery layers, it’s such a beautiful old home.

These three finds… a new trail, bittersweet vines, and an empty nest all seem to symbolize the emotions that are washing through me and my extended family. Last week we said goodbye to my grandmother, she lived a rich and inspiring 94 years.

Because of her influence, I am inspired to live a life full of adventure and intimate connection. I have so many more emotions and words swimming around, but it’s still too raw to share more than this.

Sunny Yellow

Earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea, are excellent schoolmasters, and teach some of us more than we can ever learn from books. ~ John Lubbock

my dog, sunny, is 13 and is showing his age day by day, we walk much slower now… yesterday’s hike was perfect

i fell in love with these old telephone poles… i adore the random sizes and the fact that they don’t go in a straight line

it was raining yellow leaves all afternoon

it is so hard to capture a leaf falling, this is my best attempt so far… i’ll get a better shot one of these days

we sat by the banks and watched the leaves fall in the water and drift down the river

sunrise thought about a swim… just thought about it

i was mesmerized by the  lacey leaf patterns reflecting on the surface

it took a while to catch just the right shadow shot as the leaves drifted by, but it was one of those afternoons that it did not matter how long it took to do anything in particular

it was a magical day

it’s been one of the most beauty ✻ filled falls i’ve ever seen, i wish is would last for so much longer ♥

what do you wish would last longer?

Transparent Transformation

Have you ever noticed that the word “myself” contains the word “elf”? ~ Gwen Bell

I feel like a little elf sometimes when I slip through the forest finding all kinds of creatures, My cousin once commented ‘Do you live in Sherwood Forest?’ I just cracked up, but this week I do feel like I’ve lived in the forest. It’s been magical… the weather is superb, a little bit of summer in October and I’ve been spending way too much time outside.

My favorite find on my daily hikes was this amazing yellow caterpillar at the top of a twig, it’s difficult to shoot caterpillars on the ground so I was just beside myself when I found this little guy so perfectly posed up in the air! BUT, I did not have my camera, I was taking my dog Sunrise for a short walk to the pond, it was lunch time and the lighting in the middle of the day is so harsh for most photos so I headed out without my camera. When I found this fuzzy little wonder in the shade, I RAN back to the house to retrieve what is usually always strapped around my shoulder! I RAN back to the area he was in and it took me forever to find him again. It made me realize how much of a meditation my walks can be, when I’m not looking for the shot, when I’m just wandering in awe of nature, she reveals her treasures, when I’m furiously looking for something in particular ~ no luck. I found this beauty once again after I just sat down and knew my eyes would get there. Can you believe there were still dew drops on him at noon on such a warm day?

Breath Taking

Yellow Fuzz ~ Yellow Reflection

Transparent Transformation

Sniffing

Autumn Daisies

Field of Beans

Autumn Stars

Gray

Autumn Joy

White Whiskers

I don’t want the warmth to end, but it will. Life goes on and the change of season reveals the life and death cycle. I watched the yellow butterfly take its last breaths, it broke my heart, but it seemed to live a long life, the wings were tattered and almost see-through. I’ve heard that we get transparent as we age, which brings us closer to what is beyond ♥

Linking with

The Creative Exchange